25-Mile Challenge for Planned Parenthood, Miles 8-12

 Fundraiser update as of today: $755 👀

Why I Run, Part 3: Emotional/Spiritual Health

This last reason I run is perhaps the most challenging to write about because putting it into words feels both reductive and performative. I grew up Catholic/Christian, and despite my late-teen self-excommunication from that religion/faith, I understand today that much of what I love and value originates in the pageantry and format of weekly mass, namely music, language, and the power of ritual. 

I love listening to music while I run not just for the motivating beat to keep me going. Years ago, I discovered an imaginative exercise which I awkwardly (and somewhat sheepishly) label "spiritual synchronization." More plainly, I turn on an active participation of mind and body, observing and directing how my movements and the surrounding environments sync up with the music. 

Examples of this include noting a change in rhythm or moving from verse to chorus as I round a corner; catching, out of the corner of my eye, the flutter of wings of a flock (called a charm) of finches bursting from a bush perfectly pairs with an instrumental flourish or the raising pitch of a singer's vocals; the way a certain lyric or shift in harmonic progression stands out just as I feel my energy waning. 

Once I begin noticing these moments, they increase in frequency and intensity and, presumably informed by the feel-good chemicals coursing through my brain and body from the exercise itself - aka flow, I feel suddenly aligned. It's a sort of emotional/spiritual leveling up that once it occurs becomes nearly impossible to disrupt and will carry through the rest of the day as I move throughout the house doing chores or simply moving from one room to the next. Although notably less visceral, I can achieve this spiritual synchronicity/flow mindset listening to music as I drive as well, witnessing similar shifts in tempo, melody, or harmony passing under bridges or when the landscape opens up after veering in a new direction. 

25-Mile Challenge for Planned Parenthood, Miles 5-7

First off, thank you to all who have donated so far 🙏 I originally set the goal for $500, then adjusted to $250, and now that I've raised $505, I've raised it back up! There are two weeks left of the fundraiser, and I aim to hit my goal soon and catch up on blogging. I've been busy with work the past couple weeks. I started a new full time job on top of teaching part time, hence blogging less and resting more. 

Why I Run, Part 2: Mental Health

Running has always been a form of "me time" throughout my life. It's a time to alternately focus my mind and let my mind wander, and I nearly always feel mentally refreshed after going for a run. Given the mind is ultimately a part of the physical body, I'm inclined to say physical health is mental health and vice versa. I know it's not uncommon for athletes to struggle with mental health, yet I've noticed that those who prioritize their physical health tend to have an easier time with certain daily mental health challenges.

Running helps me cope with stress, which I understand stems from the release of endocannabinoids, chemicals that promote feelings of calm and relaxation. I like to run when I'm feeling stressed which I often quip as "sweating it out." Often when I run outside, I visualize running away from whatever it is that's stressing me out. That I must return to the source of the stress keeps this exercise from becoming an unhealthy coping mechanism (denial). Because I've shifted the state of my body and physically left the spaces where the stress originated, it can feel easier to reassess and resolve the situation. 

I take an antidepressant which reportedly is enhance by exercise. Exercise alone can be considered an effective treatment for depression, but a 2020 study reported that exercise in combination with taking an antidepressant can create a synergistic effect. This inspires me to keep running for my mental health as much as my physical health. 

In terms of the "me time" effect, I embrace running as a time in which I permit myself to let go of certain responsibilities in exchange for simpler responsibilities of focusing on my breathing, thinking, or the literal path in front of me to keep from tripping and injuring myself. When the path before me is clear and easy, my mind sometimes wanders into creative or imaginative thinking, allowing new ideas for writing to surface, for example. It can also wander into darker spaces, triggering hyper fixation on something bothering me, such as points of frustrations with people in my life or more generally situations that are out of my control. This can create a stewing effect, which I can either work to soften or simply allow it to run its course. Tending to my physical health in this way can create a kind of padded space in which I can safely think and feel whatever comes up with less or little judgment of myself. Because this can be a point of stress, allowing myself the time and space to vent internally can help me recalibrate how I want to show up moving forward.

Here are my stats for my Day 2 run of the fundraiser (treadmill):

Thanks for reading!

MDA 💞

25-Mile Challenge for Planned Parenthood, Miles 1-4

I feel compelled to start with a disclaimer/explanation noting that my last post on this blog was in October 2008, ten days after finishing my first (and only) full marathon. The best I can offer is that although I have continued running, including finishing a handful of half-marathons and many shorter races, I have not continued blogging. I attribute this to my personal reliance on Facebook and Instagram, where I find the dopamine-infused instant gratification from immediate likes and comments. Blogging for me has always been a struggle. Although I am a writer by training, I struggle to articulate anything that I think is worth sharing in a longer format. For the past sixteen years, posting photos of my pets has become the norm. Oddly enough, I never stopped brainstorming blog post ideas on my runs, so choosing to participate in the 25-Mile Challenge for Planned Parenthood this month felt like an opportune time to pick it back up.

Why I Run, Part 1: Physical Health

The main reasons I run relate to my health. Physically, I run to burn calories as a way to get into and/or maintain some semblance of fitness. I've struggled with weight issues throughout my adult life, mostly due to my intense love of the American trifecta that is sugar, salt, and fat. Like many modern Americans, I have a tendency to binge eat as a coping mechanism when faced with boredom and stress. Now that I'm in my 40s, I have come to accept that the longer I put off intentionally managing my physical health, the harder it will become to get a grip with each passing year and decade. In my 20s and 30s, I relied on my youth and general lack of major health issues to offset living an unhealthy lifestyle comprised problematic levels of alcohol consumption and eating whatever and whenever I wanted. Although I quit drinking in 2011, since then, my relationship with food has continued its status as "complicated," to say the least. 

This past year, I tried out Noom, a weight management app that integrates psychology lessons along with the usual nutrition and exercise tracking features. I quickly began losing weight using the app, learning most notably that eating more low calorie dense foods, such as fruits and vegetables, not only gives you the nutrition you need, you'll feel full for longer. Replacing my sweet cravings with fruit (mandarin oranges, bananas, and grapes) and salt cravings with vegetables (cucumber, bell peppers, carrots) dipped in ranch has helped me transition to a more balanced approach to eating. Upping my protein intake via yogurt with protein powder and honey and homemade protein shakes with frozen spinach mixed in has also helped me find more balance all around. 

Over the summer, I intentionally set out to run less as well because running often exacerbates my hunger. I started integrating more strength training, biking, and yoga as alternatives or supplements to running, and found that the strength training alone helped me find more success in weight loss and overall management. Strengthening my core has been especially beneficial given my otherwise sedentary working and living conditions, i.e., working on a computer and lounging on the couch reading or watching TV. Having a stronger core has resulted in little to no lower back pain from sitting and/or sleeping, an issue I'd been dealing with over the past few years. 

Today's inaugural segment for the fundraiser was completed on the treadmill. I ran slower than usual because I wanted to stay in Zone 3 and not feel too wiped out afterwards. Before I ran, I did a 15-minute full body dumb bell workout that I found on YouTube. Oliver Sjostrom is a Swedish fitness trainer I recently discovered whose workouts are challenging but doable and set to music (no annoying talking throughout the workout) and include helpful timers and embedded "up next" clips. 

Looking ahead, I plan to blog about the other reasons I run as well as some personal experiences and reasons for choosing to support Planned Parenthood. Feel free to comment here or like/comment on the social media site from which you accessed this link! 

Thanks for reading and supporting me!

MDA 💕

10 Days Later

After a much needed ten day break, I finally felt up for a short run yesterday. It took four days for my right foot to "uncramp", so to speak, and when I put on my running shoes over the weekend, my foot began to cramp up again as if to say "too soon... too soon..." Regardless, I ran a jolly three miles yesterday late in the afternoon and it felt great to be back on the trail.

I haven't decided whether to continue this running commentary. For one thing, I have no idea if anyone is even reading this. While that shouldn't matter, I'm not planning to run another race for awhile. I might look into finding a half-marathon for the spring. I intend to continue running, of course, but I've little to no interest in carrying on about it.

Still, I am beginning to enjoy posting on this little blog of mine. It boosts my confidence to see my thoughts written out, posted for the world to read (if they so choose). That said, I am inspired to break open the metaphor and make a run for it.

And Scene.

Writing, as I am, on the morning after, is perhaps one of the few activities I can manage in relative comfort given the current status of my feet, legs, and lower back. All in all, I am happy to report that I finished the marathon yesterday in one piece (though towards the end I wasn't so sure whether a few pieces might fall off; namely, my right foot).

As previously indicated, I had no preset goal(s) for time. My goal was to finish and finish I did. Here is the rundown:

5K 33:03

10K 1:05:58

Half 2:24:41

30K 3:22:12

20mi 3:36:11

Finish 4:39:54

Pace 10:41

Carrie and I started at about ten after eight and it was wonderful running through the streets of downtown Minneapolis. Aside from the visual stimulation, the first seven miles or so went by unnoticed because we were far to concerned with the cold and the wet. By mile six, the downpour was ravishing our bodies, numbing both my hands and forearms, and slowing us down a lot due to the added water weight in our shoes. It finally cleared up, much to our relief, and the next thirteen or so miles went by without much extraneous physical effort. Both Carrie and I enjoyed all the enthusiasm from the spectators, which included my family, her family, and thousands of others, including live musicians, kids handing out candy, and people who cheered us on by name because we wore name-tags. At first I found this a bit unnerving but later came to appreciate being singled out by name (or number) as it quite literally boosted my energy level.

Between mile twenty and twenty-one, the tide turned as my right foot cramped up. Carrie and I started to lose each other time and again and when we got to mile twenty-three, Carrie opted to walk for a bit. I continued on, however, because it hurt my foot more to walk than run. Looking back, I wish I had stuck with Carrie because the last few miles were actually quite lonely, which in turn intensified the pain in my right foot.

Despite all the gloom and doom, I can't articulate how fantastic it was when the finish line came into view. I picked up the pace slightly towards the end, ignoring what now felt like a constant Charlie horse in my right foot. I crossed and finished; and just like that, it was over.

When I finally found Carrie and our families, my mom asked about the obvious redness of my left shoe, which, upon removing my shoe and sock, revealed a bleeding toe. Note to self: remember to cut toe-nails before running a marathon. Ha! Don't worry, it wasn't painful and the blood washed out quite readily with cold water (thankfully).

By and large, this was one of the greatest experiences of my life. It's still too soon to say whether I will run another full marathon - at least that's what my right foot is urging me to write this morning.

Countdown, Part III

This final week of training went very well although I struggled because I didn't want to stop after 3, 4, and 2miles. Everyone has been asking me, "Are you ready? Are you excited?" to which I respond, "Yes and yes, but I will be more ready and more excited once I'm actually running!" This waiting is driving me batty. Needless to say, I am happy that in less than twelve hours I will finally be on the course running this thing!

On Thursday night, instead of watching the debate, I got a massage. It felt amazing. And yet, it has become painfully clear to me that my back and legs are not as happy as my mind is about doing this. I am contemplating scheduling another massage soon...

This morning, Carrie and I went to the expo in St. Paul to get our bag o'goodies, which included our tracking chips and numbers. I am #3359 if anyone wants to follow me online at http://www.mtcmarathon.org/. By all means, pretend I'm a package being delivered. I have no problem with that.

Anyway, the expo was pretty neat. We got to chat it up with vendors and sample foods and drinks, which was great because I hadn't had breakfast and I was starving. I bought a new mustardy colored running shirt made with bamboo fibers, which apparently helps with odor control. That said, I sure hope I'm not the only one wearing bamboo fiber tomorrow.

Tonight Carrie and I made a tasty dinner consisting of grilled chicken, fresh vegetables, spinach, and ahem, some spaghetti noodles. Then we watched a movie and now I'm getting ready for sleepy time. I sure hope I can get good rest tonight, but if not, I'm sure there will be a few thousand people ready to catch me if I collapse at any point during the race.

Wish me luck! Peaceout -

Countdown, Part II

With less than a week to go before the marathon, I continue to feel confident and able. This week's runs are a paltry combination of 3mi, 4mi, and 2mi. Whether it's recommended or not, I might add a few miles to that final run. I mean, come on, 2mi? Is it even worth the sweat?

This past weekend's 8mi long-run went virtually undetected by my body. I am astounded, once again, by this process and I look forward to the coming weekend. While I anticipate an adrenaline rush of nervous excitement, I keep reminding myself of the age old adage "slow and steady wins the race." Then again, I have no inclination to look at this as any kind of "race." Simply to finish will be my win.